::Prodigy’s soft porn flick [NSFW]

P figured he might as well get all the action he can get before kicking of a 3-year prison stint. His next album, HNIC 2, will be released in 1,400 different languages using Voxonic voice-conversion technology.

Despite the fact the FBI is now investigating the Criminals Gone Wild DVD, the fake film director insists those were real crimes being committed on camera. Here’s the video from a CNN segment in which the fake director shows off the money he made from the DVDs.

“I’m willing to swear on the Bible that this is 100% real. And I would like to say God bless America and God bless Criminals Gone Wild.”

He’ll need God’s blessings when the feds decide to throw his black ass behind bars for the tomfoolery.

What did Prodigy’s son get for his 7th birthday? A trip to the shooting range, no less.

…because Robert Bailey needs more benjamins to lick on

Since I’m still a member of the Jena 6 blog activism community, it’s only right that I show you what one of the accused teenagers has been doing with part of his legal defense donations. The gentleman in the GooTube video above is Robert Bailey Jr., one of the Jena 6 students. Someone please tell this knucklehead that David Bowie wants his $10,000 back.

Now excuse me while I go beat up some random white boy.

Update: It was only a matter of time before some type of explanation surfaced. Rumor now has it that these pictures were taken prior to the Jena 6 episode. Still, that doesn’t justify putting $100 dollar bills in your mouth. You don’t know where that money’s been.

“I’m your worst nightmare squared/That’s double for n*ggas who ain’t mathematically aware” (Canibus, “Making a Name for Ourselves”)

In a bid to get a rise out of people like me, Blender listed Common and KRS-One among the worst lyricists in “rock,” citing the above Canibus lyrics as Comm’s worst rhyme. Ironically enough, their poor attempt at mockery resulted in a hilarious case of self-ridicule.

“Go find someone else to shoot you” - Kanye

Lil Royce, who holds the record for the most bullets taken on a record, tries to convince Kanye and Common to shoot him on wax. Watch what happens when he pulls out a real gun. Damn, Kanye’s mom was right. In fact, that makes him the realest rapper ever.

DTP’s Celebrity Look-a-Like contest simply cracks me up. Shouldn’t we be telling kids to take pride in who they are, as opposed to which celebrities they look like? Don’t get it twisted, I’ve been compared to everyone from…nah, I wouldn’t do that to you.

At any rate, take a look at some of the hilarious photo entries. (more…)

Is that Kanye with the sunglasses?

It’s funny how labels always fret over sales but no one ever stops to realize that they’re not releasing products compelling enough to attract buyers. Now, as easy as it is to heap all the blame on wack rappers and greedy execs it’s also important to note that consumers play a bigger role here. Quality albums don’t move units (cf: Fishscale), duh. Kids will support their favorite rapper even if he decides to fart over beats for the entire duration of an album. It’s safe to say that a big chunk of today’s urban music consumers buy names not titles.

The 9/11 lineup is getting ridiculously crowded. Awesome news for all the Pacavellians out there:

On September 11, 2007 distributed by Koch, West Coast rap label, High Powered Entertainment will make hip hop history with its release; Thug In Thug Out. The highly anticipated project is the first official collaboration by original Outlawz members Young Noble and Hussein Fatal since the much publicized fallout that followed the death of their mentor Tupac Shakur.

The millions who adore Tupac Shakur, loyal Outlawz fans and music lovers from around the globe will consider this reunion LP well worth the wait.

Good for Outlawz and all but I’m still copping Kenny Chesney’s album.

I’m kidding, of course.

Faux News media manipulator Bill O’Reilly is strongly opposed to Nas’ inclusion in the September VA Tech memorial concert, because he’s a “violent gangsta rapper.” To drive his point home, O’Wildy singled out a couple of early Nas songs that contained the slightest hint of violent material, all this while ignoring the bottomless pile of socio-conscious records by the same artist.

O’Wildy has also placed a message on his blog instructing his brainwashed disciples to express their “outrage at the inclusion of a violent “gangsta” rapper in a memorial concert at Virginia Tech.”

It’s worth noting that hip-hop scholar Bakari Kitwana kept his composure but still held it down all the way.